Missing Piece

We’re baaa-aaack. While the previous post two years ago was what I thought to be my final post here, I found myself wanting to come back and write again. We’re coming up on the six year anniversary of the divorce. It and her are well and truly no longer any part of my life. But the simple fact that I am sad and lonely does stretch back six years to the last long term relationship I had… so here we are posting again on the ol divorce blog.
It’s been a rough year. My mom died. My boss who I worked so closely and personally with for 7.5 years laid me off, blindsiding me over breakfast the week after the funeral. The girl I was dating, the realest thing I’ve had to the relationship I want, cut and ran. I got rejected from so many jobs. I endured seven months of unemployment. The job I got undercut me with the pay they promised. Somebody hit my car and knocked it out of commission for over a month. I cut my head and went to the ER. Unrelated, I got covid. SHEESH.

Sure lots of fun and good happened too, but this year I can’t help but let the bad overshadow the good for a change. Anyways, the point of this post is not to complain about 2023 but to share a poem. And I guess I’m writing all of this as context to where my mindset is. So without further ado…

Missing Piece

Six years later, here I still sit all alone.
Constantly checking for dating app notifications on my phone.

If I may say, in the years since,
I’ve become quite a prince!
I’ve traveled
I’ve made friends
I’ve found hobbies
I’ve gotten fit and strong
I’ve become a homeowner.
Yet still deep down I still feel like a loner.

I’ve struggled to find meaning in life
Without someone in the role of wife.

I want to be able to give my love and support
Each day, to cherish and court.

Life is good but something will always be missing
Without someone to always be kissing.

The night things ended
I said that in half, my self had been rended. 

I’ve since built myself back to be mostly complete
But as sad as it sounds
Until she is found
My quest for true happiness will end in defeat.